Today I had my first article published in an online magazine, Over the Moon, a site “where the divine feminine comes to party.” A little bit spiritual, a little bit mystic, all feminine, and very positive. I’ve enjoyed reading their articles and finally had one to contribute! It’s very personal, of course; I’m not sure how to do anything well if it isn’t personal. I delve into the intersection of faith, surrender, perfect love, and grief. If the word “God” has too many religious connotations for you, you can let it mean Spirit, Flow, Universe…the lessons are the same. I invite you in to the journey, and I hope it touches your heart.
Entertainment bombards us with the cult of superheroes. Sleek, specially-suited crime fighters with tragic origin stories, who’ve risen above their circumstances in service of others. Comic books spring to life, wish fulfillment from our childhood is play-acted onscreen. And why not? We love heroes. We want to be like them. We all want superpowers.
What if the heroine you are called to be is already within you? What if you already are endowed with the greatest superpower in the universe? It’s true. You have within you the nature of the Creator. Love is your superpower.
My Dad left us on Father’s Day, almost three years ago, due to cancer. In the brief months that led up to his departure, I saw love in action. Mom sleeping on the couch we set up in the living room next to his hospital bed. Hospice nurses singing hymns with us as we washed his aching and swollen joints. Mom’s faithfulness to her hope in a miracle. Her tender, tearful surrender to Dad’s wishes that we make no more heroic efforts. Only love can power such a painful transition.
Love lifted me up when grief changed the landscape of my life. Love let me cry my eyes out and seek forgiveness. Love carved a safe space of healing and whispered to my soul that every circumstance is part of a perfect plan, even if it feels like it’s falling apart.
We have been burning the midnight oil! Formatting hard drives, tech walk throughs, countless phone meetings, a two hour VFX consult with our amazing team in Australia, finding critical wardrobe pieces, making original props, locking last minute crew members, and buying extra toilet paper for the house we’re using as our location! 😉
We’ve got a lot left to do and it’s thrilling and terrifying all at once.
When things get too insane, I think about why we’re doing this. This is for the ones we’ve lost. This is for your friend, your Dad, my Dad, your grandson, your Mom, your Grandma. This is for the ones we didn’t get to say goodbye to. And, it’s for those of us who survived.
Yesterday on our way to Seattle’s Northwest Film Forum to pitch this project, we suddenly and unexpectedly hit our funding goal and screamed and yelled on the streets of Capitol Hill!
Thank you to our amazing supporters and backers who make this dream reality!
Before we all get too comfy and while there are still 43 hours left, let’s talk about s t r e t c h goals.
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About a month before my Dad died, we were watching the sunset from my parents’ back deck. Golden skies melted over fields of spring wheat, their ten acres disappearing in rolling hills down to the darkening trees. With the last of the warm light on our faces, he said to me …
I found this again recently, and it sent a dagger of breathlessness through me. He was so right. He *is* so right. We don’t know the hour of our departure. If we did, wouldn’t that make every sunset worth soaking up? If you agree, maybe you’d like to share this.
Tell people what we’re doing here. We’re soaking up the beauty and glory for the dark times.
I didn’t go blonde, but I did eventually start writing this story, and I capped it with an ending I think he would be proud of.
A little beauty, a little magic, a little glory.
Do me a favor. Just keep telling me that.
Yesterday I did measurements with Jenn, the first time since I started working out with her in August 18. Less than 3 months later, I’ve lost over 3.6% body fat, and 15″ total from my frame! Take a look!
I’m enormously encouraged between these measurements and the “jeans test” (I’m down a size!) I don’t own a scale so the real proof is in how I feel – which is amazing.
I’m now in the fitness zone for bodyfat, and I’m headed to athlete for Ashland! (By the way, this is the last day to get into Jenn’s For the Glow community as a lifetime member – just like yours truly).
If you’re thinking of New Year’s goals, my advice for you is to start now – start today. You’re worth it, and you can do it! Cute butt, here we come. 🙂
Walking through the park last week I reflected on everything that’s happened this year …
My Dad’s death, a break-up, endless heartache piled on heartache.
2012, I thought to myself, is the worst year of my life.
Then it struck me – it’s also the last year in my life I’ll ever hug my Dad, or hold his hand, or pray with him, listen to his stories, or laugh with him. It’s the last year I got to ask his advice, or tell him I loved him. It’s the last time the four of us will celebrate Christmas, birthdays or my parents’ anniversary together. It’s the year that our family will have been together in this life.
There will never be a year on earth where I get to be with my Dad again.
Making 2012 the best year of my life, too. The most precious. The last.
It can be both. It is both. Often, when best/worse coexist in one, it means the truth of the experience is deeper than it looks at first glance. 2012 will be the year everything changed forever.
This morning I saw a quote, “Fear is the enemy of creativity.”
Well, maybe. Other popular quotes tell us that fear is also the enemy of progress, love, and logic. Seriously. Just type it into Google and see for yourself.
Somewhere in our culture, Fear became a force we have to face. Instead of an impulse or a thought that arises from circumstances (“Gee, this ledge is high,” or “She would never talk to me“), we made this into a big, bad demon we must continually confront before it ruins our lives.
But I have a different perspective:
Fear isn’t your enemy.
Once upon a time, I saw a romantic comedy that was terrible and embarrassing, but I took away one great line: “Women get the relationship they think they deserve.”
No more being a victim – it’s in our hands. That’s a philosophy that I can apply to my work, and to my art (I earn success by making opportunities and supporting others; I find ways forward).
I started compiling my bill of Relationship Rights – a work in progress, to be sure!